I am not loved! I swear, with all the 0 comments, a girl feels so alone!
But seriously. I've been fighting tooth and nail with myself to get back into the kitchen to make some bread, some muffins, some freakin' biscuits in a can for heaven's sake, but I just can't muster up the energy to do more than the requisite meals. In my house, this means a protein and a starch. Possibly a veggie or a fruit if it can be sliced and served. If it can be microwaved, it is Beloved. The idea of committing to a yeasted anything makes my back groan and my brain shut down with a firm, "Hell. No." Even quick breads and muffins give me pause because they must be baked immediately, and if the measuring and mixing tires me out, I don't have much choice but to put it in the oven. Which doesn't seem like much work, but when the hour for that bread to cook means I have to keep my eyeballs open and my ears tuned for the timer, all I suddenly want to do is sleep.
I am seriously considering cookies. My pregnant and weight losing self can afford the calories, and even I can manage to finish measuring and mixing before I get tired. I think... Shut up! Pregnancy and I don't mix. It kicks my lily white ass to the curb and laughs while it does so. The worst that happens is I freeze the crap to bake another day. But if I'm honest with myself, I don't want cookies. I know! Pregnant lady not wanting cookies. Crazy. I want some fucking cheesecake and I will happily kill someone to get it. I just don't have the energy or the patience, let's be honest to make one. And do you know how much that shit costs? Walmart -- WALMART, PEOPLE! -- sells a 9-inch cheesecake for $11. I can make a 9-inch cheesecake for $5, maybe $7 if I don't get my cream cheese on sale.
Split the difference and you've got a nearly 50% markup. That's highway goddamn robbery, people. It's wrong, and something must be done. Like maybe, one of my Good Internet Buddies volunteering to come over and make me some? Please? I will beg for cheesecake. Shamelessly, people. Take advantage of this weakness, just for god's sake GET THE PREGNANT WOMAN SOME CHEESECAKE!